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Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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