Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
