as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He kissed a someone with a penis
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
