I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
