I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
