he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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