she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
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So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
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He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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