every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
