I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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