i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i dont even know how to be here
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
