Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
