Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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