Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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