So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
