Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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