i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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