Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
