im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize