just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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