So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
