I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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