it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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