READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
