Dude my mom stole all your condoms
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
