Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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