I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I look better un-naked...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
