so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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