Sry I called you an 8
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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