Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
