If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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