Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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