Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
