Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
