waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
