I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
