your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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