I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
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He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
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I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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