Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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