before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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