it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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