I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
