new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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