Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
