It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
