brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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