just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize