Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
