I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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