Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize