Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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