This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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