After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
