All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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