I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
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He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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