everyone is single if you try hard enough
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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