after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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