She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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