you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
